singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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