Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
