Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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