weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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