a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
