I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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