Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
