I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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