There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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