Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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