OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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