My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
