I bet he comes in French.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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