I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
