I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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