I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize