Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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