U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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