my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
