i think my mom watched the whole time
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
