I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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