There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
