those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
