i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
