I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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