So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
