i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Help. Why am I so naked?
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