What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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