I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
