Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
