Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
