i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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