I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
