I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
