Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
bring money and cleavage
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Found your dick twin last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
