Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
