i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize