No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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