i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
