I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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