sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
