the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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