Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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