Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
