you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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