he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
