If i come over, it means nothing
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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