i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
