We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
