i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
