Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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