So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
dude. I can hear the air.
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