But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
