I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
