Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
