I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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