people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
